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The New Boss

He’s a preppy bitch. A younger more successful version of myself. A snaggletooth shark in a thousand dollar suit. I hate this kid. Robbie, could he have more of a douche-bag name? We’re like water and oil. His promotion came through today. He’s the new head of bookkeeping, and my boss. Fucking fantastic. If you’ve ever stepped in a pile of fresh dog shit barefoot, you’ve got an inkling of how bad my day is going.

“So, John, I’ve seen your reports. They’re sloppy. This kind of work’s not going to fly around here anymore. You need to get with the program. You need to get on the Robbie train,” he says.

“The Robbie train?” I ask.

“That’s right. It’s an express train. It don’t stop for losers.”

“OK, um, doe’s it stop for lunch? Because, it’s ten minutes past my lunch break.”

“Keep it up John. Don’t make me check your ticket.”

What a piece of shit. I’m going to stick my balls in his coffee cup. He walks away with his chest puffed up like some kind of animal. The wild Arizonan Fuck-tard, yeah, that fits him. If only I lived in a world, where I could get away with stabbing him in the gallbladder. He rounds the corner, and I let out a sigh. This was going to be a long rest of my life.