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Hand Soap

The bathroom hand soap always stays full, but the color of it slowly gets more and more transparent.

You see my boss is what you might refer to as “A Dumb Ass”. He waters down the hand soap. Why? Because he thinks he’s saving money…..yeah, he’s fortifying his bank account a quarter of a cent at a time.

Why is this bad? Well, as a human being and a man, I do from time to time, find the need to wipe my back side. People poop and it makes us feel good. But, there is always that one time, (you know this is true), where the toilet tissue does not hold up to the task. The inevitable result being, an unintentional trip for one of your fingers into your dirty booty.

So, poop on finger, watered down hand soap……um….can you say, stink finger for the rest of the day. Now seeing how the average human touches their face at least 2000 times a day, you can see how a stink finger might cause some problems. And, if you’re a nail biter….well, lets not think about that.

So, to the boss who’s too cheap to spend a buck on a bottle of Dial soap, here are a few suggestions for saving money:

Say, you have one boat that you never use. In the four years you’ve had this boat, you’ve never taken it out on the lake. It’s new. In this case you do not need to buy an even bigger boat that you are never going to use. I know right, total mind blower.

Or, your household has two people living in it, and you both have one of the most expensive SUV’s money can buy. One for her, one for you….you don’t need to buy two more….you can only drive one at a time. See? We’ve already saved thousands here, and to think I’ve only got an associates degree.

Now, lets move on to the most important money saving tip for the boss who’s trying to pinch those pennies. If you marry a woman, have a child with her, and buy a house together, do not insert your penis into another woman who is not your wife. This will save you money in several ways:

Lawyers fees, rental on the mobile home you’re forced to live in when you get kicked out of your million dollar house, STD treatments (it’s called a condom dumb dumb), and alimony.

If you follow these simple money saving tips brought to you by your slightly disgruntled employee you will live a happy prosperous life, and most importantly have enough spare change left over to BUY SOME F@&%# HAND SOAP