, , , ,


Your penis tires are a far greater resource than you give them credit for. They’re not just cum containers. No, they’re spectacular Swiss Army Nuts.

The ball-sack, our wrinkly friend, the Walter Matthau of our bodies. It’s ugly. But, I think it’s a part of our anatomy that is grossly underused. What do I mean? Well, say you’re stranded in the desert, the heat pounding on your balding head, your mouth as dry as Betty White’s vagina, if only you could find a sip of water. “Please God, I’ll do anything for a drink!” Then suddenly the clouds roll in and start pissing. Finally! You open your mouth and lube your tonsils. But, it will be over soon. Who knows when it will rain again. If only you had some sort of receptacle to catch that precious sky urine. But, you do my friend. Your handy dandy scrotum, it’s like a built in folding cup. Drop those tighty whities, stretch out those nuts, and catch yourself some life saving fluids.

So, the next time you look at your hairy beanbag with all it’s creases and fleshy dents and dismiss it as you would the fat girl at a party. Remember fat girls put out, and one day your nuts may save our life!